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I could relate to Runkel's stories about his personal frustrations as a parent and the stories of some of the parents he's worked with. Runkel really provided me with a different way of thinking about my parenting and my goals as a parent - truly a different way of relating to my children. I don't like it when people say, "The transformation has been magical!" but I've got to admit, it has been quite notable. My kids seem to pick up on the difference in my demeanor and approach and react to it positively.

I've only been using Runkel's ideas for a couple of weeks now, but I'm cautiously optimistic that if I'm careful to stay on the right path as a parent, there's a far better chance of my kids ending up on a good path as well. I think that's a big deal and it's been a great feeling so far. Highly recommended for frustrated parents or any parent who thinks a different perspective or approach to the job might just be a good thing.

I am a ScreamFree parent most of the time. A ScreamFree parent is one who remains calm when hell breaks loose or when a child makes choices contrary to your choices. It's a parent who recognizes a child's need for inner space and physical space that is not allowed to be interrupted by the parent. It is also about having rules and allowing choices.

Most of all, ScreamFree parents are those who have relationships with themselves, their partners and their kids. The children of ScreamFree parents have relationships with their parents, themselves and others that may or may not include the parents. Most of all, it's about trust. Trust in yourself, your children, the process and your ability to be a good parent without controlling your kid.

ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool is a fast read, a refreshingly simple way to address the ever-perplexing problems of parenting, and an excellent guide for those who enter the thought process Runkel posits. Through a series of chapters + self-help questions, Runkel, in essence, proposes that tending to our own personality positions, avoiding reactive behavior to stressful situations, and simply remaining 'cool' in the face of crisis is the way to gain a growing household. While it is well known that our children long for limits and solid reliable role models who allow them to grow into self-sufficient, self-reliant adults, the message just hasn't consistently seeped into the minds of parents. We go from rigid authoritarians (prison guards) to overly permissive (the child rules) atmospheres, neither extreme providing the nurturing plane for child or parent to get the most out the joy of introducing tomorrow's adults to a saner world. Runkel sets out to correct that situation.

While written for parents and with excellent examples of how these postulates work, there is much information here for every reader to transpose to simply enhancing our relationship with the world. It is healthy, easy, and constructive. One could quibble with the notion that it is 'unhealthy' for a child not to observe a parent's 'losing it': children should be exposed to adult fluctuations from perfection in order to avoid the fear of encountering such alternative behavior for the first time in the not-so-safe outside world. Just a thought... But in the end, this is a well written, at times simplistic and tinged by religion, little fast read that is a witty and wholly usable adjunct to improving human behavior.

Ever wondered why so many American children are screamers? Why they're so "out of control"? Why so many American parents feel so helpless? Why they're so "out of control" of their children?

Then Hal Edward Runkel has the book for you, & a passel of reasons along with a bushel of answers, all of them based on the principle: focusing on YOURSELVES as a married couple; by showing up in YOUR life; by calming YOURSELF. By operating less from your fears & more from your higher worth, you can & will retrieve your family from the brink of insanity & dissolution.

ScreamFree Parenting is definitely for every expectant Mom & Dad so that by the time your first offspring joins you, you'll have gotten a head start on this ancient craft!

Perhaps a tad too "sweet & soft", too "fangless & toothless", however ScreamFree Parenting is all about training... training your children to become the best adults they can be, by training yourself to become the best adults YOU can be.

Hal talks about checking into your own parenting style, responding rather than lightning fast reacting, and simple ways any parent can be more relaxed, while being a better parent.

I couldn't agree with him more. As I wrote Learning vs. Testing, I knew that so many parents unknowingly make assumptions, such as their kids are lazy and unmotivated when it comes to school or homework hassles, when a quick learning styles or visual/perceptual check revealed their child had undiagnosed learning issues.

Hal's Screamfree Parenting book, along with the classic, How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, are two of the best and most effective I've ever seen, giving truly sane advice in what sometimes seems like an insane world - parenting.

This new book digs in, shows you the "how" and not just the what - a concept which truly means the strategies work, no fluffy theory you wouldn't want to read anyway. You're busy and you need results today. Screamfree Parenting hands them to you right now.

It's an easy read and a resource to treasure - believe me, you'll find yourself actually asking your kids what's behind how they feel when they do what you consider wacky, sparing yourself stress, and saving you both a lot of time.

Then there's a lot more for the love you feel to really shine - and your kids will know it!

If you're a new parent, expecting, or "veteran", this is one book you must have and recommend to all your friends. When it comes to parenting strategies, Hal's a top notch guide and he'll pave the road for you, so you'll be relaxed and know exactly what to do in those toughest moments.

Watch his video too and you'll feel better already!

You can imagine what these kids are going to be like when their parents are ill or die. They'll feel like the world has ended. Is that any way to be a parent? I don't think so.

I like having children who become responsible, effective adults. I have four of them, and I'm happy with how it all turned out.

At the opposite end, you see parents going nuts because their two-year-old drops a spoon on the floor in a restaurant . . . again . . . and again . . . and again. We've all been there. We've all wanted to go nuts. But it's not good for anyone if you do.

ScreamFree Parenting gives you solid, realistic advice for how to handle those years from 2-18 so that your children end up the way you would like them to be . . . as themselves in a responsible life. . . and not as robots ordered around by you.

Hal Runkel does a good job of explaining how setting limits, letting children make mistakes and learn, and being calm make for a wonderful difference. I was reminded of the importance of calm last week when our local high school put on a one act play written by the students that described a 9 year-old girl being driven crazy by her parents' fights. Calm is good for children. They will eventually learn calmness from you . . . if you are a good role model.

So start to help your kids . . . by working on you!

I wish I had read this book when I was a new father. It would have saved lots of anxiety for everyone.

Nice going, Mr. Runkel

Calmness translates into being the best that you can be. When we can think, problem solve, and react with a calm, cool mindset, positive outcomes occur. Calmness perpetuates calmness, just as conflict perpetuates conflict. It is a book that stays by my bed so that I have it at my fingertips when I get a few extra moments. It is a resource that I will continue to reread throughout the years ahead of raising our children. I feel that I am in debt to Hal for his miraculous vision. I intend to continue the legacy and pass the book to my children one day as they venture into parenthood, and they too will be eternally grateful to Hal and his team.

The cycle will continue from generation to generation, what a great concept. He certainly has gone above and beyond doing what he was called to do on this earth. Hal is the coolest for keeping us cool and thus allowing for our children to be the best they can be. If the principles were carried through to all human relationships, what a wonderful world it could be...

The clear, direct, and humorous writing style allows parents with hectic lives to quickly read the book, absorb its concepts, and put them to use. Each chapter ends with reflection questions to reinforce the themes from the chapter. The book continues its effectiveness whether or not the reader answers the questions. However, thinking about the questions might shed light on you, your kids, and your relationships.

The concept of parents not letting their emotions guide their response to a child's troubles is not new, but Runkel shares stories, experiences, and explanations on how to do it. Sure, junior spilling juice all over the carpet can make any parent mad, but dealing with the situation while maintaining control has better results than a scream fest, spanking, or arguing.

Though the book focuses on parenting, its concepts largely address ourselves as individuals. For we have to take care of us first before others. Instead of permissive or dictatorship parenting, Runkel encourages judo parenting, which is "the art of going with another's momentum." He shows how to do this by providing the answers to the questions all parents get like "I'm bored," "Are we there yet?" and "I hate you!"

Two nitpicks. First, there are a few religious references. I wish this had been omitted because religion is a hot issue and the book's concepts fly well without the religious quotes or references. Using these unnecessarily limits the book's reach as people who skim the book might get the impression it's only for Christian parents. It's not.

The second is not an issue, but rather a want for more examples of using the ScreamFree approach. The stories in the book explain the concept very well and having more would enhance the book's usefulness.

When I told my oldest about the book, she said parents who yell are teaching their kids to yell when they become adults. Deep and accurate insight, as we've seen many children grow up to pick up their parents' bad habits. Overwhelmed parents can begin with one step by picking one situation that pushes their buttons and applying the ScreamFree approach until they get the hang of it. Runkel doesn't pressure the reader and the concepts are doable.

Judo Parenting and being like a Willow Tree are great metaphors that he discusses and I try to remind myself of these daily. This small adjustment alone can work wonders. I recommend this book to families who want a more peaceful home life. All the ingredients are in the book. The tough part (as always) is making the behavioral changes to reap the rewards. I can say I am a work in progress. I have some good days and some terrible days.

The difference between these ScreamFree parents and others is that they learn to control that tendency to react and choose a more appropriate course of action. The book is delightfully realistic and insightful and points out some of the normal conundrums of raising children. Well written and engaging, a combination that is hard to find in this style of book, you will find familiar situations consistently throughout the book. ScreamFree Parenting is a recommended read for parents with children of all ages.

Parents, Runkel contends, should take stock of themselves. Are they in control of their behavior when they interact with their children? Or are they at the mercy of their "emotional reactivity"--their unthinking, knee-jerk reactions? If the latter is true, it is likely that parent-child interactions will be tense, angry, and unproductive.

All of us who have struggled with parental responsibilities instinctively realize that a calm and reasoned approach is far more effective than a hysterical and dictatorial one. However, because of fatigue, ignorance, or inertia, many of us instinctively lash out, saying things that we don't really mean when our kids push our buttons. What to do?

Runkel does not advocate a permissive parenting style. Rather, the author recommends what he calls "judo parenting." Judo is "the art of going with another's momentum." A ScreamFree parent facilitates rather than dictates; he encourages his children to use their own resources to solve problems. By helping kids to get in the habit of making their own decisions and living with the consequences, parents will be more likely to launch "self-directed" adults.

Runkel's writing style is clear, concise, humorous, and to-the-point. The book is conveniently divided into easy-to-read sections and the chapters all conclude with thought-provoking "reflection questions." The author provides many practical examples to demonstrate how his principles work in the real world. Runkel's amusing quotations from a wide variety of sources add liveliness to his message. In addition, there are lengthier anecdotes that are taken from Runkel's experiences as a family therapist. Most parents will pick up many useful tips from "ScreamFree Parenting." It is an entertaining, intelligent, and practical approach to raising our kids without losing our minds.