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Family vacations are a summer rite of passage. Throughout the cold winter we dream of warm, sandy beaches. We start collecting brochures and cruising the Internet for ideas on where to go. Then, finally, summer arrives, school is out, and we pack up the family and hit the road. But then something happens, whether it is a flat tire, a forgotten toy, or a lack of elbow room in the back seat, it starts. "It" starts with a disagreeable whine, a temper tantrum, or an empty threat and escalates to an all out battle over where to eat lunch or who said what to whom first. Suddenly, the idea of being back at the office sounds great. After just a few hours of travel you begin to wonder if it's really worth all the effort. The good news is that there is a better way … the ScreamFree way. If you keep your cool and plan ahead you can have your vacation and enjoy it too!

Practical Tips for a ScreamFree Family Vacation

Before you call your travel agent or check out the deals online, you have some work to do. Having been introduced to the ScreamFree way of living, you’ve learned that you must take control of yourself. The more control you have over your own behaviors the more successful you’ll be in achieving your dream family vacation. Remember: You cannot control the actions of others, you can only control yourself. So let's begin with a simple question that may prove difficult to answer:

1. Think about the type of vacation you have in mind.

This is a multiple choice question, so find the response below that is closest to how you really feel about this upcoming vacation. No answer is wrong except one that is dishonest.

A. This vacation is for all of us. I will plan our vacation with the kids in mind, but will also make sure that I'll enjoy myself too. We will have a budget, and stick to it. We will do age appropriate activities on an age appropriate time schedule. When it comes to kids, "too much" is always "too much". Sometimes we may split up, one parent with the older kids and the other with the younger ones, so the older family members can enjoy some grown up activities, like museums or thrill rides. If we have to postpone or cancel some of our plans to allow the kids a "down day", so be it. Will it really matter 10 years from now that we didn’t make it to the puppet show or the hot air balloon museum?

B. This vacation is for the kids. It is our job, as parents, to make sure our kids really enjoy this vacation. Vacations are supposed to be fun, right? We should do what they want to do. After all, what's a "family vacation" without ice cream, tons of souvenirs, and seven days of "fun until you drop"?

C. This vacation is for us, the parents. We work hard every day so we have earned this well deserved vacation. We’re the grown-ups so we should choose what we do. If the kids don't like it, that's tough. We’ll do something they want another time. We just wouldn’t feel right not taking them with us. Anyway, who would watch them for a whole week while we’re gone?

Taking the time to truly evaluate who the vacation is for will allow you to plan and prepare accordingly. If answer "B" is true, prepare to be physically and emotionally exhausted at the end of the vacation, and probably a little tight on cash. You might want to plan a weekend get away for you and your spouse for the following month to get some time for yourselves. If you think answer "C" rings true, knowing this ahead of time allows you to track down child care at your destination or the save up enough money to bring Grandma along so she can watch the little ones while you go do your "grown-up" stuff. Many resorts and cruise lines even offer "kid's camp" during the day for you to take advantage of. Whatever your motivation for embarking on your family adventure, clearly identifying your goals advance will give you the time you need to plan for success.

2. What if it all goes wrong and everyone is arguing and miserable?

What is it that they say about the best laid plans of mice and men? Things can and will go wrong. Your son throws up all over himself (and you) on the "Scream Machine", your daughter gets sunburned so badly that you have to take her to the hospital, your credit card is declined at a museum gift shop, it rains for six days straight, your plane is stuck on the tarmac for 3 hours and your 1 year old has a dirty diaper with no changing table in sight … the possibilities are (unfortunately) endless. No matter how much you plan ahead for a ScreamFree vacation, you cannot guarantee the outcome of anything – especially when other people are involved. Remember: you cannot control the thoughts or actions of others; you only have control over yourself.

So how do you handle the mishaps and catastrophes? Practicality and Perspective

Practically - Have a back up plan and emergency supplies handy and think about how you want to behave even when things go wrong. Bring along a deck of cards, have a spare change of clothes for everyone in the trunk, pack snacks for unexpected delays, scout out rainy day activities in advance, etc. Being prepared will reduce your stress and help you keep your cool. When you keep your cool, you help those around you stay cool too. Remember, your kids will follow your lead, and in many cases so will the other adults around you.

Perspective – Think like a writer. Everything is material. Everything. Sometimes the worse a situation is, the funnier a story it will make years later at family gatherings. Try to make the best out of wherever you find yourself and you’ll be teaching your kids an incredible life skill.

3. Above all, remain flexible; allow plans to change when necessary.

In 10 years you will probably not remember that you never made it to the Museum of Do-Dads and Watchamacallits. And your kids won't remember it either. You will, however, remember how you felt spending quality, unstressed time with your loved ones. And that beats any tacky souvenir you could possibly bring home.

This is an excerpt from the ebook, ScreamFree Summer Vacations. If you liked this article, download the book in its entirety. You'll find real life stories of things gone wrong and how the parents remained ScreamFree. You'll also find many more practical tips to having a ScreamFree Vacation. The ebook will give you tons of ideas as to how to put this new way of thinking into practice so that you and your family can have the best vacation possible. Check it out.