AskHal

Hal also talks in the book (ScreamFree Parenting) about how a parent's number one role in the family is that of a calming authority. When a child's behavior is impulsive, what are some ways parents can remain calm during what seems like a gigantic thunderstorm that will never end?

Sometimes kids with AD/HD get so wound up that they literally can't calm themselves down. The last thing they need are parents who are acting just as tense and out of control with the hope that things will suddenly calm down. Here are some things that parents can do in the midst of a storm: 1. Give up on winning. This is the only way out of the battle. There is no dignity in going toe to toe with a child, so concern yourself simple with maintaining your adulthood instead. No matter what. 2. Take back your remote control. Try calmly informing him of (and then enforcing with calm resolve) the severe consequences of his choices. Do it with your voice barely above a whisper. Calm yourself down and let him know that there's nothing he can do to make you lose your cool – he simply isn't that powerful. 3. Go to the movies. See yourself as a character on the big screen and think about how you'd like to behave. Give yourself permission to be creative or even silly in order to get out of the rut that you've designed and do something different and unexpected. Maybe that means asking your child to wait, pantomiming strapping on a bulletproof vest, and then nodding to him to continue. By becoming just a little bit objective, you'll be able to access the creativity that is uniquely yours.