AskHal

I was wondering how Mr. Runkel approaches allowances for children. My husband and I are clueless and there’s just so many different opinions out there. I really like Hal’s approach on so many issues, and I’d like to hear what he thinks about this. I heard him on his radio show last week but I couldn’t get through to talk to him.

Carol, Decatur, GA

Hi Carol,

Jenny and I have struggled with this in our own home, so I understand your frustration in this “land of confusion”. In our information age, we can sometimes get overwhelmed with everything that is out there to help us! Let me start out by saying this: Whatever you settle on, be sure that:

1. You have asked yourself some questions about what you hope to accomplish in this endeavor. Check your “plan” against those answers before you start.

2. You are consistent in implementing your plan. No IOUs. Plan ahead and have the cash on hand.

3. You are flexible enough to change and adapt along the way. You may change your mind a year into it about how you want to do things. That’s ok. You are the adult and you are allowed to make some changes when necessary.

So, relax. You can’t really go wrong if you keep those principles in mind. With that said, you wanted to know my take on the whole allowance scene. Here goes: There seems to be a couple of schools of thought when it comes to allowance. Some feel that allowance should be tied to chores and other believe that they should be separate issues. In our house, we fall on the side of the fence that keeps those two items in separate spheres. We give our kids a weekly allowance in order to teach them how to handle money responsibly. We give them weekly chores to teach them how to behave in a family. In a family, everyone should be participating in and taking responsibility for the daily stuff that needs to get done. I think most of us believe this, but in reality, few of us practice it. It is simply easier to do all of the work and then complain that the kids take us for granted. We get frustrated because they leave their stuff all around the house and then we grumble about it as we pick up after them saying, “What, do they think we have a house fairy?”

Instead of tying chores to allowance, we expect everyone to have responsibilities. Everyone pitches in and learns how to run a household. At first, it's difficult, but it’s actually easier than figuring out at the end of the week what percentage of $5 the kid earned because he did all but two of his chores. There are a few exceptions, of course. We do allow for work over and above the chores to be compensated. Washing cars, power-washing the driveway, cleaning baseboards, etc… all certainly deserve a little dough. But we don’t like to always link work with money. After all, what happens when junior decides he doesn’t want his allowance one week? Do you punish him for not doing his chores, which is essentially making a choice that you’ve put in place?

Thanks for the question Carol. Next week, I’ll continue on this subject and discuss how much to give out and how to teach them to handle it.

Until then, remember to take care,

Hal