AskHal

The thing about bedtime is that it comes at the end of the day (duh, right?). What that means is that when we are at our most exhausted, they are, too. So, when we most need them to go to bed (so we can have a few moments of peace and quiet), they are at their most reactively independent (you cannot make me sleep!!). Naturally, we have competing interests here.

Just recognizing this will help you understand the situation, and give you a clearer head about what to do. It will also help you withstand the tantrum. When the tantrum no longer bothers you, it will no longer captivate him (he’ll probably move on to other stall tactics). What is usually the thing to do in a situation like that is the thing we least want to do, slow down. Slow down your speech, your movements, lower your volume. If you want to set some consequences for not going to bed on time, then do so calmly. If you want to grant him some space to stay up in his bed, do so without regret or resentment. The goal here is to not let his tantrum create one of your own, but rather respond in a calm and connected way.