AskHal

Dear Hal, How much TV (or computer, Playstation, etc...) is appropriate for my kids? Every time I turn around, it seems like someone is recommending something different. Can you give me an answer?

I would like to start this response with a quote from the rock band Oasis,

“Questions are the answers you might need.”

There is no one “right” answer to this question, but there is a right question. “How much screen time do you want your children to have?” That answer defines your principle about this issue, and it should be at the forefront of this discussion.

The one great thing about your question is that you are asking it at the right time. If you wait until the heat of the moment to ask yourself what it is you really want, your answer won’t be determined by your principles; instead, it will be determined by your kids’ whining or your own level of tiredness. Asking now, when you are not frustrated or overwhelmed, puts you in a position of strength rather than weakness and allows you to claim the position of authority you’re your kids need from you.

Finding out what you really believe about something takes patience and honesty. It’s a tough assignment and it requires asking several follow-up questions that aren’t always easy to answer. How do my kids seem to act when the TV or computer is on? How do they act when it isn’t? What don’t I like about their use of screen time? Are there times when I would like for them to be entertained by the TV or their playstation? Are there certain times of the day when I would rather them watch than others? How do I use screen time myself?

By asking these difficult questions when the TV is off and you are at peace, you will be able to find the answers that are right for your family. You have all the tools you need to create the kind of home you’ve always wanted and the kinds of relationships you’ve always craved.

Stay Cool,

Hal