AskHal

Your son is beginning to launch away from you into adulthood. This can be a dizzying time for everyone involved. One minute a teen can be shyly dependent, and another minute later openly defiant. One minute a parent can be excited about his child’s development, and the next scared to death.

What’s important is for you to calmly realize what’s happening: your son is launching out on his own. The last thing he needs is a parent who anxiously needs him to stay young. Right now he sees you as an enemy of his launching process. What needs to happen is for you to become the architect of it. How can you encourage him toward more freedom and responsibility? While never caving on what boundaries you believe are necessary, how can you increase his freedom within those boundaries?

Believe it or not, the best way you can do that is to begin to focus more on yourself. He’s growing up; what are you starting to pursue with your increasing free time, now that he doesn’t require as much supervision? What plans are you beginning to make for your life as he begins to leave?