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The Older One Picking On The Younger



Hello,

I am a parent of three boys: 12, 3, and 1. The major issue my husband and I have in parenting our 3 year-old is his abusive, hurtful behavior toward his 15 month old brother. We currently employ time-outs and “talking to” For most of the minor offenses, a push or a nudge, these tactics work fine. However for the more aggregious offenses that result in an injury, it’s extremely difficult to react calmly. Do you have any advice in helping us maintain our cool?

With much appreciation,

Hal here. I love your question! You are not asking how to get your kid to stop hitting, you're asking how you can remain cool when he does! That's the way to go.

My guess is that by just asking the question you have already begun to calm down. That's because asking the question means you're already starting to focus on you.

Now that you're focused on you, you can ask yourself some good questions, like Am I addressing the behavior seriously enough, or am I just hoping it goes away? Or, What exactly gets me so angry, that I can't control him or that I can't control me?

Here's the most important one of all: How well am I taking care of myself so that I can be at my best with these kids?

Sounds like you're on your way!

Remember to take care,

Hal




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