AskHal

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A Response That’s Working For Us



In response to things we could say when we are proud of an accomplishment of our child without taking responsibility - what we have been doing is when our child shares an accomplishment with us we ask him/her what was it that they thought helped them to achieve that goal and then confirm to them what a good choice they made in making the decision to following through on whatever action it was that created this achievement or wow aren't you glad you decided to... look what it did for you that is wonderful! Way to go, etc.

On the flipside if things don't turn out they way they want we ask them what they think they might of been able to do different that may have produced a different outcome.

Sometimes no matter what action they take the outcome is out of their control and we need to teach that life lesson as well.

Thanks,

Workinghard

Workinghard,

Hal here. Wow, I really like your responses. By responding that way, you are positioning yourself as the "tour guide through life" that I often talk about.

Your kids are fortunate to have a calm resource that can non-reactively help them process through both their accomplishments and their mistakes, without taking responsbility for either one.

Beautiful and helpful.

Thanks, Hal.




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