AskHal

Overall, they have decent manners in public. It just seems like they are so strong- willed that they are almost incapable of doing anything that we ask. Our house forever looks like a tornado hit it, our stress level is off the charts and all the joy in 'parenting' is eclipsed by the next impending disaster.

Everything fell apart this morning. I teach Sunday School but have been out for several weeks, due to illness in the family. Today, I had a new supervisor - a good impression was a must. While I cleaned out my classroom, the supervisor began the next class in an adjoining room. She permitted my girls to play quietly while she began, which of course they could not do. I finished my duties quickly, due to their disruption, climbed up to the girls play area and tried to get them to leave without disturbing the class any further. Can you guess what came next? My youngest (3.5) started screaming the second she saw me that she would "be good" and hid. I was able to get her to come to me, look me in the eye and listen briefly. I told her that her behavior was going to get Mommy in trouble and that we were going to leave without making a fuss and get some lunch. (yes, I even tried to bribe them with ice cream.) I got through to her - sort of. She cried but she at least went down the miniscule steps of the play center. My oldest (4.5) imploded. She started kicking and screaming that I could not make her go. I threw her over my shoulder and began to navigate the narrow steps while she wiggled and raised Cane. (yes, I fell half way down - totally embarrassing myself) I barely managed to carry her into the main hall and close the door without dropping the tantrum throwing tot. There was another class out there that had to endure these hysterics now. She broke free, ran away from me, screamed as loud as she could and broke back into the classroom three times.

Mortified does not begin to describe how I feel right now. When I got her into another area, she ran up and punched me. Furious by this point, I told her I was leaving with or without her. I left the building. Naturally, she came running behind, still screaming. Not wanting to scream my head off or spank her in public, I opened the car and stood there in the rain, calling my husband to support. At that point, both kids got out of the car and kicked me. Yes ... KICKED ME! I cannot remember ever being so angry, so embarrassed or so helpless all at once.

At home, I gave them both lunch, then dealt with them separately. The oldest had to sit with me and write a letter of apology to the other woman for disrupting her class. By the end of that, she was fairly calm and went to her room for a 5 minute time out. While she was in her room, the younger girl had to draw a picture of herself - sad faced - for what she had done and sign her name. Then she got her time out in her room. Both have lost all TV for the entire day.

I have not tried this type of punishment before. I'm very good at blowing my top, so is hubby. Time outs are a regular around here but they usually entail the punished kicking her door for the length of her punishment. The girsl talk back, challenge my authority, throw fits and basically do whatever they want. I cannot take it anymore. I am finishing my teaching degree. How can I control a class of 20 when I cannot control my kids? Has anyone attended the Screamfree seminar? I am working with my husband to attend but he is a firefighter, with a crazy schedule. It is hard to find time to go, or the money. Can this really help? I am desperate. Can this formula help us?