By Hal E. Runkel, LMFT

On a recent trip to LA to promote our book, ScreamFree Parenting, I received a great text message from my wife, Jenny. I had missed my daughter's soccer game and my son's t-ball game, and Jenny was texting me the highlights. While it hurt to not see how well Hannah and Brandon were playing, I was thrilled to hear the news and imagine the scene. Both teams won, both played great for their respective teams; Brandon even got the game ball.

My text response was very typical. I asked her to show them this message: "Hannah, Brandon, I am so proud of you!!."

Simple, common parent language. Words we long to express, knowing that our kids love to hear "I'm so proud of you."

That's what's behind the bumper sticker craze, isn't it? Honor students and all-stars get the whole world to know how proud we are. But I have a question: Am I really proud of my kids? What does that mean anyway?

In this section of our newsletter, we have Hal answer a direct question asked by one of our ScreamFree Parents. Today's question concerns the issue of privacy.

My youngest daughter can't seem to get anywhere on time. I just want to schedule her day for her but then I feel exhausted looking after her every hour of the day. What should I do?

Sounds like you've been doing some good thinking about this, because you realize you cannot run her life without exhausting yours. So ask yourself a question-how did you learn to be punctual? Most likely it came through experience, the negative consequences of being late and the positive results of organized living. So what is getting in the way of your daughter learning those same experiential lessons?

Most likely, it's your own anxious need to make her punctual. This has undoubtedly become a battle between the two of you, which means it's not really about being late. This battle is about whose life belongs to whom. Your daughter is exercising a form of power over her own life (stalling) that is drastically affecting your life. Since you both have to be somewhere at a certain time, her stalling creates problems for everyone involved. This is an immature power struggle, not a personality defect.

The first step is learning to calm your anxiety about her choices (letting her learn of the negative consequences of being late, be it missed school or delayed fun times). The second is to concentrate more on your own schedule than hers. This doesn't mean ignoring her needs, but it does mean refusing to compromise yourself in order to accommodate for her tardiness

Best wishes as you grow your relationship with your teen to new levels.

Do you have a Parenting question for Hal, the author and creator of ScreamFree Parenting? Contact Us Directly. We will answer a limited number of questions in upcoming newsletters.

Please note that we cannot answer all questions, so we encourage you to present your questions or parenting issues in the ScreamFree Parenting Forum. Here you can interact with other parents on the ScreamFree Journey and share your questions and successes. Visit the ScreamFree Parenting Forum today and discuss parenting issues with parents all over the country.

We completed the live filming of our ScreamFree Parenting Seminar at North Atlanta Church of Christ last week, and it was a grand success.

It was four-nights of hard work for Hal and approximately 75 parents who came back for more ScreamFree inspiration each night.

The early feedback on the editing and production is that it looks great and it was a "good take", so we're very pleased about that.

We've had a number of people inquire as to just when the video would be available. We're afraid we cannot give an exact date as there is much editing work to be done.

We have however created a special offer for you to pre-order the video. If you haven't had a chance to go through a live seminar yourself, this is a great opportunity to do so in the comfort of your own home.

Thanks for all your support and well-wishes in getting this important project done. This will help us to transform family relationships everywhere.