By Hal Runkel

America's kids are less active and more rotund than ever, and it's threatening the very lives of humanity's future. With skyrocketing child obesity rates, this "battle" is nothing to be taken lightly. And, it definitely seems like the food producers are on the kids' side. Whether it's the junk food that lines the aisles of Kroger, fills the Nickelodeon commercials, or populates the McDonald's kids' menus, parents and healthy nutrition seem to have the odds stacked against them.

So, with all of that noted, it's easy to get motivated to gear up for battle, right? Given the gravity of the situation, let's all get armed to go to war, beat back the tide of fat, and find the best way to "get children to eat healthy foods"!

If it's a true, never-ending battle you seek, then go right ahead. Prepare for war. But if it's a great relationship with your kids you really want, a relationship filled with mutual respect in which both parents and children naturally choose, on their own, to take an interest in their own nutrition, then prepare for a different path altogether.

I, of course, call it the ScreamFree Path. The first step is learning to calm our parental anxiety and recognize a few certain truths about this issue. They are:

Miles Davis' revolutionary 1957 album The Birth of the Cool, ushered in not only a new era of jazz, but also a new term into the American lexicon. Once the idea of "cool" was introduced, our culture has never been the same. Read the question and answer below to see how ScreamFree is on a mission to proclaim the re-birth of cool.

Dear Hal, I saw you the other day on The Daily Buzz and they showed the subtitle of your book on the screen. I have what may be a silly question, but how is "keeping your cool" different from "being cool"? I want to be a "cool" parent, but I also know that it's not a good idea to be best friends with your kids. Is there any way to be both "cool" and ScreamFree?

Many of us want to be a "cool" parent for our children. We'll make lemonade and have the best toys available, so that the neighborhood kids will come over and play with ours. As the kids grow up, we'll maybe listen to their music (and pretend to enjoy it), watch their shows on TV, and even just "hang out" with them.

None of that is necessarily wrong, but taken to an extreme, it can be misguided because most of us equate "cool" with "popular". Instead, let's be the coolest parents we can be by looking at things in another way. Let's make sure that we don't emphasize our desire to love or be loved by our children by maybe overlooking some bad behaviors, or trying to 'relate' to them by agreeing with or allowing potentially destructive environments.

Take teen drinking parties, for instance. Just last month, two parents in Chicago were found guilty of child endangerment for hosting a party such as this. Two teens left their house drunk and crashed their car into a tree just a few feet from the end of the driveway; both died from their injuries. These parents, and many others unfortunately, interpret the idea of being "cool" the wrong way to the detriment of their children.

At ScreamFree, we'd like to reclaim the term cool and we'd like to redefine it. "Keeping your cool" is not about being the most popular parent in the room. It's about being the calmest one, in the midst of making some very unpopular choices in the eyes of your kids. It's definitely not an easy route to take, but we're sure that it's the better one. After all, won't it be nice to hear them to say when they've grown up: "My parents were really cool. Even when I did bad stuff or was going down the wrong path, they kept their cool, and taught me the important lessons I needed to make it in life". So, to answer your question, not only is it possible to be cool and ScreamFree at the same time, it is absolutely necessary.

Take Care and Stay Cool, Hal

Want to read all of Hal's past "Ask Hal" replies? Check out the Ask Hal Archives Page for the ScreamFree approach to your common parenting and relationship issues.

Do you have a Parenting question for Hal, the author and creator of ScreamFree Parenting? Email Us Directly at AskHal@ScreamFree.com. We will answer a limited number of questions in upcoming newsletters.

Unfortunately, we cannot respond to all questions. If you want further feedback on your individual situation, we encourage you to explore Relationship Coaching with Hal. You can get a f!ree 20 minute evaluation of your situation to determine if coaching is right for you by contacting us here.

You can also share your questions or parenting issues in the ScreamFree Parenting Forum. Here you can interact with other parents on the ScreamFree Journey and share your questions and successes. Visit the ScreamFree Parenting Forum today and discuss parenting issues with parents all over the country.