By Hal Runkel

Remember the movie Minority Report? The Cruise/Spielberg collaboration a few years ago was a haunting picture of the future, a future that included the most personalized advertising possible. Whenever you entered a mall or shopping venue of any kind, retina scans would identify you. And then every sign, every screen, and every sales placard would call you by name, show you all the products you have purchased or perused in the past, and showcase new, similar products in your preferred color, shape, and size. Yikes. Thank goodness our world isn't really like that.

Hang on just a minute before you dismiss this merely as a thing of the future or a vision of a director; log on to amazon.com. On their front page will appear books and music that you have viewed in the past, along with similar products that other people with your viewing history have purchased. Sound familiar? The personalized advertising of our futuristic movies is already at hand.

Without the self-discipline to remain objective, see the advertising for what it is, and only pursue those products you most want, the onslaught of advertising will pale in comparison to the onslaught of personal debt and emptiness it will no doubt bring.

So what's the way out?

We've asked you to send in your own stories showing how ScreamFree Living has changed your life and you've responded! One letter, in particular, struck our hearts and we've decided to include it here. Read on to see how ScreamFree Parenting isn't just for parents.

Hi Hal,

My daughter has three young children who are between the ages of one and four. I have been with her many times when she gets upset with one of them, usually the same one. She doesn't always scream, but she uses a loud enough voice in a very harsh tone, to where everyone around can hear her.

I have seen the face of the four year old child when she does this, and it makes me so sad for my granddaughter. I can see the hurt and what looks like embarrassment on her face as she looks down at the ground while my daughter is holding her arm and letting her have it.

She will stop what she is doing and comply with her demands, but she has been deeply affected by her mother's words and tone. If I say anything to try and help, my daughter turns on me with her verbal attack, so I stand there, very embarrassed because people are watching and listening. Now, I just wait until she has finished and try to act like everything is okay.

I was looking for help at bookstores and online and I happened to be watching a television show when I heard you speak. I read the ScreamFree Parenting book and it has helped me not only with my grandchildren, but also with every relationship in my life.

I gave my daughter your book and told her how much it has helped me and thought she would enjoy it. I told her that I wish I would have had this information years ago when I was raising her and her brother. I told her how much better it has made me feel when I take control of myself, even when I don't feel like being calm and in control. It gives me an inner peace and strength. She finally read the book a couple of weeks ago and I am praying that she will be open to applying it to her life.

Thank you for helping me become the best Grandma I can be and at the same time help my daughter not to be threatened by the children's love for me.

Thank you, Grandma

No, Grandma.
Thank You. It is people like you who keep us working hard here at ScreamFree. We appreciate your determination to become a better you and we are proud to be a factor in that change. It is our sincere belief that the principles you learned from ScreamFree Parenting can serve you well in all of your relationships. You are already practicing one of the most important principles by focusing on the only person in the pattern that you can control - you. We'd love to hear how things in your family continue to change for the better as you become more and more influential due to your calming presence.
Take care,
Hal and the ScreamFree Team

Want to read all of Hal's past "Ask Hal" replies? Check out the Ask Hal Archives Page for the ScreamFree approach to your common parenting and relationship issues.

Do you have a Parenting question for Hal, the author and creator of ScreamFree Parenting? Email Us Directly at AskHal@ScreamFree.com. We will answer a limited number of questions in upcoming newsletters.

Unfortunately, we cannot respond to all questions. If you want further feedback on your individual situation, we encourage you to explore Relationship Coaching with Hal. You can get a f!ree 20 minute evaluation of your situation to determine if coaching is right for you by contacting us here.

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