Ask the Expert: Ex and I Disagree on Video Games
Friday, October 16, 2009
By: Hal Runkel

One mom feels torn between her parenting instincts and her ex-husband.

My 14 year old son purchased the rated “M” video game "Grand Theft Auto" when he was staying with his dad last weekend. I feel that this game is completely wrong and have confiscated it. When I questioned his father (my ex), he felt that there was no problem with it. There’s more…

Since it has been opened, they cannot get a full refund. I think that my ex needs to pay my son back for his purchase. Maybe next time he will think before he allows my son to buy anything he needs an adult to purchase! Help!

Stacy

Hi Stacy– 

You articulated in a very clear manner how you feel about the game and how you don’t think it’s appropriate for your son. You don’t have to apologize for that stance.

This is clearly an issue between you and your son’s father and your son doesn’t need to be caught up in the middle of it. Co-parenting has so many unique issues and it involves a constant check of your intentions and emotions - not an easy task.

Here’s what I would do. First of all, try and take all of your judgment and anger out of the equation. They aren’t helpful. Tell your ex that you are not ok with this purchase and your son won’t be allowed to play the game at your house. Let the two of them work out the money situation. You don’t need to be involved in it at all. Ebay is always an option for opened games, as is Game Stop or any number of places that trade games or buy used ones.

Be matter of fact about it without taking any of it personally and you’ll get much better results. But no matter what the results are, you do have the last word as to what you are and what you are not comfortable with in your home.

Hope this helps!