Ask the Expert: How did you come up with "ScreamFree Parenting"?
Friday, October 16, 2009
By: Hal Runkel

Ever wonder how it all started?

Dear Hal, 

I have read tons of parenting books in my time, but yours is so different. Why is no one else saying these things that make so much sense? Also, I love the title! How did you come up with that?

I did not even begin to develop the ScreamFree approach until I was in training to become a therapist, and by then I already had both of my kids. I sometimes shudder to think about what my parenting would have been like without the benefit of my training. In graduate school, I had access to an incredible amount of existing knowledge and scientific research as to how relationships and family systems really work. This research was incredibly well-documented and thoroughly insightful, but unfortunately, most of it was couched in academic language and available only to the most educated of therapists.

So, I searched for ways to capture these theoretical concepts and effective principles I had learned and tried to put them into the working language of real families. My educational background along with my experience as a therapist and a father led me to believe that that growth can only occur when we can calm our emotional reactivity. But, “Emotional Reactivity-Free Parenting” didn’t have much of a ring to it. So, “ScreamFree Parenting” was born.

The more I worked with families, the more I found that the vast majority of us are operating in the dark. Kids don’t come with instruction manuals, and many times, while we want to do what’s best for them, we get paralyzed by the anxiety that accompanies these little creatures. And that’s a thought that compels me to share this ScreamFree vision with every parent on the planet. Our children deserve it.

Stay Cool, 

Hal